Too Close to Home
by aeonish
Summary: The Doctor and Rose are catching up on Rose's new favorite show. They start discussing the relationship between Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak, and things get a little too real.


**Mild spoilers for the first half of Arrow season 3. Italicized dialogue at the beginning is from Arrow episodes 3.1 and 3.7.**  
**This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.**

"_I'm so sorry. I thought that I could be me and the Arrow, but I can't._

_Not now. Maybe not ever."_

"_Then say never. Stop dangling maybes. Say it's never going to work out between us._

_Say you never loved me, say you-"_

"_Felicity, don't ask me to say that I don't love you."_

_-_

"_I know what it's like to want someone but not be able to be with them._

_How you wish things can be different, but they can't. I can't be with anyone._

_I have to be alone."_

_-_

"Oliver Bloody Queen!" Rose yells angrily, doing everything in her power to keep from throwing her popcorn at the telly. She and the Doctor were sat in the TARDIS media room, catching up on Rose's new favorite program. It's a favorite pastime of theirs while relaxing between adventures. The Doctor pauses the show, arching an eyebrow in question.

Rose sighs deeply. "I don't understand. They _love_ each other. They _know_ they love each other. She wants to be with him. Why is he holding back?"

"Wellll… he's being sensible, I think. It's a dangerous life he lives, and he's just trying to protect her," he says.

Rose rolls her eyes. "Bit late for that, innit? That's the life she wants. She chose it, and she wants it with him."

The Doctor shifts uncomfortably on the sofa, loosening his tie. "Maybe he's afraid to get too close. He'll never be able to walk away from what he does. The univer- er, Starling City will always need protecting. He will always have enemies and if something were to happen to her, he'd never forgive himself."

"She's already part of the team. She's not going to walk away either. Don't you think she understands the risks?" Rose sets the bowl of popcorn on the table beside the sofa and leans back, crossing her arms indignantly. "Besides, if he really wants to protect her, he should be less reckless. Because if something were to happen to him, she would be just as distraught."

The Doctor sniffs, rubbing the back of his neck before standing up. "Well, I happen to think that what he's doing is quite brave and noble. Of course he loves her. He loves her so much that he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness to keep her safe. To give her a chance to have a better life with someone who's better for her."

Rose stands up then, throwing the blanket she'd been using onto the sofa with an angry huff.

"Well, _I_ happen to think that that's a load of bollocks," she counters. "I think what he's doing is cowardly. He's sacrificing _her_ happiness too by holding back like this. Because you know what? He's it for her. There _is_ no one better. She will never love anyone else the way she loves him. He owns her, heart and soul."

"Rose…" he starts, but she cuts him off, gesturing wildly.

"And you know what the worst part is? He's so afraid of losing her he doesn't even realize that he's already losing her! He's so scared he won't even give them a chance. Meanwhile, she would rather be with him, knowing full well all the risks, even if their time together is finite. She'd rather have that then have them both spend the rest of their lives not knowing how great they could be together, always wondering 'what if'."

The Doctor shoves his hands into his trouser pockets, rolling his weight onto the balls of his feet and looking anywhere but her.

"Come on now, Rose. You can't know what she wants," he says, trying to ignore the fact that they stopped talking about Oliver and Felicity some time ago.

Rose sighs, tears welling up in her eyes. "Of course I can. Because she's me. I'm her. We're the same."

He finally looks at her, his gaze softening as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

"We're both in love with self sacrificing men with hero complexes," she says with a half hearted chuckle, holding her hand out to gesture towards the telly. "With the overwhelming need to protect the innocent, no matter the cost. The only difference is that instead of a bow and arrow, you've got a timeship that's bigger on the inside and a sonic screwdriver."

And there it is, finally out in the open. The Doctor takes a step towards her, cupping her cheek and wiping away her tear with his thumb.

"Rose…" he starts, but trails off, unsure of what to say.

"You know, another really annoying habit that you and Oliver share when it comes to the women in your life is that you unilaterally make decisions for us. Don't I get a say? Don't you respect me at least that much?"

The Doctor raises his eyebrows in surprise and his hand drops to his side. "Of course I respect you, Rose. You know I do. There's… no one as important as you."

"Then stop shutting me out," she says, laying her hands on his chest, one over each heart. "I know the risks, Doctor. But we can face them together if you'll just let me in. I promised you forever."

The Doctor sighs and closes his eyes, taking her hands in his and holding them against his chest.

"It's not just you I'm protecting, Rose. For all intents and purposes, I am immortal. Everyone I care about leaves me eventually. Your forever and mine aren't the same. How I feel about you now… when I lose you, it's going to break me. If I allow us to become any closer… I don't know if I would survive it, Rose. I don't know that I'd want to."

Rose smiles warmly and raises her hand to touch his cheek. "You'll survive, Doctor. Because you must. Because the universe needs you, and because you'll know that's what I want for you. But in the meantime… you'll spend the rest of your seemingly endless life wondering what could have been. And I have a feeling you'll regret it. We both will."

For one long moment, the Doctor doesn't say anything. He looks down at her, trembling as the logic of her words sink in and she can see the last remaining vestiges of his poorly constructed defenses come crumbling down. Slowly he dips his head, gingerly pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

As their lips touch, Rose feels as though a missing piece of her soul has just slid into place. The kiss is timid and sweet, as though he's nervous about how she'll react, and she slides her arms around his neck, coaxing him on.

"You're right," he says when their lips part, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't want to live only half a life, no matter how long it is. But I can't promise it'll always be easy."

"If I wanted easy I'd have stayed home and married Mickey," she says with a small smile.

The Doctor sighs, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers.

"Rose Tyler, you are the love of my very long life."

"I love you too, Doctor."

He glances at the telly. "So do you think there's any hope for Oliver and Felicity?"

She cocks her head to the side. "I think if it's possible for you to come around, then Oliver can too. I'm rooting for them." She gets up on her tiptoes, her lips tantalizingly close to his.

"Me too," he says with a grin, and closes the distance between them.


End file.
